Pink or Blue?

Is there such a thing as online diary writer's block and why do I have one? I'm gonna be so sorry for being so lazy/depressed/in a phunk when the baby comes and I realize I never bothered to write in time, I never documented things.

I check them and obsess about everything extensively, I just don't write them for some reason, it almost feels like all my online time should be spent looking for work so any emailing, forums or FB are a waste and I ought to feel ashamed. I know, bizarre but there you have it.

In the obsession realm I now know I am 41 inches (106 cm!) around my belly when I was 27.5 (70 cm) which is just shocking and I haven't even measured my arse for fear I'd faint in particular since that one doesn't also contain a baby!!!

We were given some bits and some we bought from fleamarkets and cheapo stores and we've spent nearly nothing and yet we now have a Moses basket, a (somewhat unstable but pretty) changing table, a baby gym, an eclectic collection of fluffy toys and quite some baby clothes. I ought to take pictures soon. We're missing a large amount of items though, so very many it's daunting in particular with our financial situation.... It's scary to even think of the tens of types of wipes and nappies and cloths one needs, leave alone major purchases such as cots, prams, baby sitters, car seats, electric pumps to name just a few of the essentials we don't own!

This will be tight.... The Viking keeps muttering every day how "normal people who haven't spent their last dime on IVF" take our a large loan or max out a credit card and have fun buying all the things the baby needs. I'm not bothered about them not being new as long as they are pretty and functional and, most importantly, existent :)

One other thing the Viking shockingly spoke about was fertility clinics in Perth :O and even, if there isn't enough time to squeeze one more try here before we move down under. Say what?!? I managed to temper his enthusiasm by saying I'm willing to discuss this in Feb or Mar 2011 at the earliest :))

Speaking of moving down under.... we threw a few days of super human effort at it and we managed to get our Cambrige language places secured for the 20th of August and we ran around like headless chicken and notarized, copied, begged and stole papers till we had the file complete and we now sent the Viking's qualifications to the Computer Specialists Association or such to wait for their acknowledgement in his field. We're going to Romania to sort my passport on the 25th of this month and when we come back -incidentally close to the all important Viability day and a day before another u/s- I'll have a new passport and we can then gather the rest of the documents and lodge the visa application. It's not easy and it's scary but we're beyond ecstatic every time we think of what our new life there will be like.

Back to LHB business, I am in SO much pain!!! Back pain in various places that kills me and heels pain every time I stand for more than 3 minutes that reduces me to tears are the most prominent but the internal pulls and pushes and hurt haven't stopped. What hasn't started though is him moving! It's starting to worry me.... beyond the flutters weeks ago, nothing and yes, we've turned 18 weeks on Friday.... I'll ask on Tuesday if my placenta is still anterior as they said at the last one.

Speaking of Tuesday, shouldn't I be counting minutes? I'm excited to see LHB indeed but I am not dieing to know what s/he is if that makes any sense? Consider yourself polled on here or FB and tell me what you think LHB will be:)!

Here are some more pics of hugeness. It doesn't seem like it grew much, did it?

http://img836.imageshack.us/img836/9193/18weeks063.jpg

http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/2729/18weeks070.jpg

Much love to everyone and thanks so much for stopping by even when I crawl into my hole :)