I may have to give hypnosis a go afterall, the Viking is light years ahead of me since he had no patch on but oh my living days is he an animal because of that!

Me: "Do you realize how awful you are?!?!"
Him: "No"
-"Very awful!"
"Am I like you then?"
-"Is that funny though?"
"Are you all high and mighty because you have a patch though?"
-"Forget it, I'll slap a couple of Nicotinelles down your butt cheeks as soon as you fall asleep tonight"

When we finally got to bed after watching a couple of episodes of the Apprentice UK (which was hilarious to my mind and highly embarrassing to his bleeding liberal heart) we had calmed down a tad so the following ensued:

*Me, while coughing uncontrollably*"How much weight can you shift in a week?"
*He shrugs then frowns in concentration* "Dunno, if I'm on vacation about 100 Kg per day or even more so at least 700, why, are we cleaning the shed?!?"
Me: "Of course we won't, that's preposterous, I told you that's our retiring activity! We should both lose weight that's all"
Him:"For the IVF"
Me: "Yeah, well no, for us, to be healthier, better parents when we make them...."
Him: "So not to get a baby"
Me: "Yeah to get a baby and keep a baby and raise a baby, also to breath better and to ... .what was that?"
Him: "That's right, I called you a Californian!"
Me: "Well honey, look at us and the country you make us live in, a loser is a loser no matter what the state"
Him: "Okay okay I'll be serious, so fat-attack, what do you want us to do?"
Me: "Dunno, take long walks?"
Him: "Yeah! We could walk to the mall in the next town, it has to be over an hour to be efficient anyhow, and then... once we're there we can...."
Me: "Ahem okay maybe walking is extreme, oh I know! We can have a Wii"
Him: "Together?"
Me: "Of course! All couples share these things!"
Him: "Okay but to be honest I don't understand how going to the loo together is going to improve our fitness!"